Rescue Dawn

Woke up this morning in a contemplative mood, it was dark & overcast outside with the drizzle of the rain. Somehow the morning matched the dream I had. The dream started off with a fight, went onto a path of self discovery followed by the realization that only I can save the ones I love.

Dream Scene 1: Yogi & I are having coffee in a cafe, when he says that he needs to make a call using my cellphone since his is not working. Instead of making the call in front of me, he goes outside into the balcony and closes the sliding doors so that I can't hear his conversation. After the call, I observe that he has erased the last call record from my phone and it sends me into a frenzy. I run outside and and start yelling and hitting him, I need him to tell me who he was calling and why did he hide it from me. But Yogi just denies that he had erased the record and so the matter remained unresolved.

Dream Scene 2: The following day I left home with a few possessions in a backpack. I just felt so angry with him that I decided I would be better off on my own. So there I was in a mall, trying to figure out what to do. For some reason, it was imperative that I pay my cellphone bill and so I went inside the phone shop. When they asked me for the number, I got confused and gave them Yogi's number. Anyways, let me pay off his bill I thought and then I can pay mine, my last gesture of goodwill towards him. I opened my wallet and there was a thick bundle of US Dollars and some Malaysian Ringgits. I started fumbling with the money and the owner told me that he couldn't accept payment in US Dollars. In my dream, I remember thinking that I have brought the USD so that I will have sufficient funds to be on my own, even though I normally don't carry them around. The shopkeeper informed me that the bill for my number is not ready, it hasn't been processed yet at the telco center. As I left the shop, I could hear the sales staff whispering about this customer who carries around US money in her wallet.

Dream Scene 3: I next wander into a huge food court, with half a mind to get something to eat. As I am almost about to sit down at a table, I notice a door next to the table which goes outside and there is a small iron gate there. Intrigued, I walk out and reach the gate, which opens into a small little lane. It had been raining quite heavily, so there is still water pouring down the street. I enter the lane and realize it is the backside of a small apartment block, a place that I seem to recognize from my childhood. I walk towards the front and the apartment in the front is owned by my maternal grandmother. Everything is in gloomy shades due to the rain. Her windows and are whitish-grey wooden blinds and the door is of the same color. I enter, it is a small room with no lights, and she is sleeping. The color tone is of early dawn, when the sun hasn't yet given brightness to things. I exit!

Despondent and lonely in my dream, I know that I am not meant to be alone, I can't be without my husband and I need to get back home.

Dream Scene 4: The dream then transitions into the inside of a building where my family & friends are being shepherded along a corridor by gunmen. They are going to be held hostage inside two rooms. I manage to slip away without being noticed. Imagine the layout, there is a wall in the middle of the corridor that seems to have not much purpose. At one end of the wall there is an opening, which leads to the 2 doors where the captives are being held. On the end end (where I am currently hiding), there are staircases leading up and down. You can also reach the captivity rooms via a narrow passageway next to the wall and the stairs going down.

Dream Scene 5: As I desperately think of what I can do to save the hostages, I see my brother swaggering along. He too has managed to sneak away. He starts acting foolhardy and I tell him that he is going to get us caught. And true to my prediction, one of the gunmen walks into the corridor, as he had heard some noise that we had made. Luckily, we spot him before he spotted us, so we rush up the stairs, one landing up. The gunman and his female colleague decide to come up the stairs to make absolutely sure that there is no one there. My brother refuses to listen to me and only climbs up to the 2nd landing, he thinks that, that they won't come up more that that.

Somehow, my instincts tell me that I need to climb higher and I go up. When the gunman (a dark, swarthy chap with a mustache) reaches the 2nd landing, he captures my brother. Still suspicious, they start climbing once more. On the 4th level (which is where I am hiding), I peep through the railings. They climb upto the 3rd floor, check out the 4th floor through the railings without climbing further. As they can't see me, they go down feeling secure that no one else has escaped. During this time, I realize I have two options. I can either leave through the door on the 4th floor and take the lift down to the floor where the captives are, or I can wait for the kidnappers to leave and then go down the stairs.

Dream Scene 6: In my dream, I adopt plan B. Sneaking down the stairs, I enter the room where my family has been kept tied up, without being seen. To my horror, I discover that the gunmen were not kidnappers. Instead they wanted to kill my family by throwing them to the mercy of the sea. As I enter, I see that there is no wall at the end of the two rooms, its open and there is a sheer drop to the ocean below. There is a storm raging outside with the wind and water rushing into the room. Any moment, they will be swept into the sea. I quickly cut the ropes that bind their hands and we manage to free everyone.

Finale: I wake upto to the sound of the stormy waves in my ears (there is construction going on upstairs) and the room dark like a womb because of the rain outside. I am safe!

The jilted bride

I know I am writing a dream here after a very, very long time. But that's the way it is!

This morning I woke up sad, weeping in my sleep, amazed to find there were no tears rolling down my cheeks. I dreamt that I was going to get married to Yogi and I was waiting in the marriage house, waiting for him to come so that we could say our vows. I was wearing a long, white lace wedding gown. Then someone told me that he hasn't come in yet, because he's waiting outside in the car, he is having cold feet.

I was extremely angry with him after hearing that, plus of course it hurt my ego. Leaving the house, I walked outside to cool down. I took a long circuitous route around the neighborhood that would bring me back to the entrance of my parents home (where I was to get married), and I knew he would be sitting in the car there. For some reason, I was supposed to wear white tights under the gown, which was slit on either side upto my thighs. But because of my anger and the rush to get out, I had forgotten about it. So there I am walking angrily, planning what to say to him in my head, when roadside guys started teasing me because of the display of flesh. These were the common, poor Indian worker kind of guys. But I didn't care!

When I reached the entrance of the house (a brownstone), I saw Birju sitting at the top of the steps, wearing a spondylitis collar. He said with almost a superior tone, that Yogi has left in the car and I took too long to get there. Had I come there sooner, maybe I could have convinced him to come inside and get married as planned. I just ignored him and walked in while telling him to 'fuck off' in my mind. And I wondered to myself, is he right, should I have just gone straight to Yogi and talked things out instead of letting my ego stand in the way...

Stepping inside the room, I realized that everyone had left because they knew that the marriage had been called off. It was the bedroom, with a huge bed that I remember from my childhood. My parents were already in bed, with a space in the middle, waiting for me to come and sleep. I lie down next to them for a while and then can't take it anymore. I go to the next room, close the door and start howling desperately for 10 minutes. Finally I am done and I realize that, this is the last I am ever going to cry for anyone!

Birju comes inside the house and he takes me home, where I am all alone... and I wake up to the reality of my happiness that I am with the person I love.