The jilted bride

I know I am writing a dream here after a very, very long time. But that's the way it is!

This morning I woke up sad, weeping in my sleep, amazed to find there were no tears rolling down my cheeks. I dreamt that I was going to get married to Yogi and I was waiting in the marriage house, waiting for him to come so that we could say our vows. I was wearing a long, white lace wedding gown. Then someone told me that he hasn't come in yet, because he's waiting outside in the car, he is having cold feet.

I was extremely angry with him after hearing that, plus of course it hurt my ego. Leaving the house, I walked outside to cool down. I took a long circuitous route around the neighborhood that would bring me back to the entrance of my parents home (where I was to get married), and I knew he would be sitting in the car there. For some reason, I was supposed to wear white tights under the gown, which was slit on either side upto my thighs. But because of my anger and the rush to get out, I had forgotten about it. So there I am walking angrily, planning what to say to him in my head, when roadside guys started teasing me because of the display of flesh. These were the common, poor Indian worker kind of guys. But I didn't care!

When I reached the entrance of the house (a brownstone), I saw Birju sitting at the top of the steps, wearing a spondylitis collar. He said with almost a superior tone, that Yogi has left in the car and I took too long to get there. Had I come there sooner, maybe I could have convinced him to come inside and get married as planned. I just ignored him and walked in while telling him to 'fuck off' in my mind. And I wondered to myself, is he right, should I have just gone straight to Yogi and talked things out instead of letting my ego stand in the way...

Stepping inside the room, I realized that everyone had left because they knew that the marriage had been called off. It was the bedroom, with a huge bed that I remember from my childhood. My parents were already in bed, with a space in the middle, waiting for me to come and sleep. I lie down next to them for a while and then can't take it anymore. I go to the next room, close the door and start howling desperately for 10 minutes. Finally I am done and I realize that, this is the last I am ever going to cry for anyone!

Birju comes inside the house and he takes me home, where I am all alone... and I wake up to the reality of my happiness that I am with the person I love.